And Reality Hits, Again....

For those who have been following, you will know that when I don't post...things aren't going well....things are not well.  Mom has been throwing up almost constantly, has difficulty still having a bowel movement and has a hemoglobin that keeps decreasing in light of repeat transfusions....so they wanted to do another scope to look at her stomach but they couldn't do that until they did a nuc med stress test on her heart which she passed with flying colors...the scope was another story.   Bobby and I had went to the store to get some things tht mom wanted and received two phone calls telling us to come back to the hospital immediately.  We were terrified thta she hadn't made made it through the procedure. Thankfully, LaDella and Ronnie are here and were with dad (otherwise we wouldn't have left him).  But when they got in to do the scope they found that its bad.  Now, we all knew before we came here that it was bad.  But somehow, hearing it in a place where bad everywhere else isn't so bad, makes it even worse.  It is worse than it was, she know has gastric outlet obstruction where her stomach and small bowel come together.  I think this is also the first time dad has really realized what we are dealing with.  What we are really facing.  Yes, we would all love to see her beat this or even survive a year or two...but the reality is grim....extremely grim.  A team of her primary doctors are meeting today to decide what can be done....they can put a stent in which will buy time, they would even continue chemo which might buy more time.  But she's really sick and truthfully quite far in the disease process.......so this is where we are.  Alot of questions will be asked today.  Pray that we make the right decisions, pray that mom has comfort and peace.  I am so thankful that Bobby and I can be with her.  So thankful that I didn't go home.  But so dread what lies ahead.